Masks of an Eating Disorder

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Art Therapy, daughter, Eating disorder, Eating Disorder and Art Therapies documentary, Everybody knows Somebody, Family, Masks, National Eating Disorder Awareness week, Remuda Ranch

My family was introduced to Art Therapy while we were at Remuda Ranch.  Looking back now, for me this was the most insightful part of our entire week. Watching my family, the other girls and their families express their inner feelings and self through art, forever changed my heart and life.  I will never forget the “masks” the girls had made which signified their eating disorder, how they felt inside and what it did to them. I still tear up when I think about it.  This therapy revealed to me the monster my daughter had lived with and what it not only did in her life, but every other girl at the ranch.

Last week, I went online to find a video to share about art therapies.  The following is what I found. It is a short trailer for a documentary in which the film maker is fundraising to cover the cost of completing. You will see in the short clip, examples of the type of masks I am talking about. 

Following the video, I am including the words from the person who is producing this documentary.

From the producer:
Do you want to support this project? Visit: http://www.indiegogo.com/EDdoc
I knew almost nothing about eating disorders until I was personally affected by a sufferer of this condition. When I was in college, I discovered that someone I loved had a severe eating disorder (ED). After a great deal of thought, I began a journey to film ED programs in Texas, California, Colorado, New York and Florida in order to better understand the struggles someone with ED experiences and how recovery could be possible. As a filmmaker, I identified with the creative process of expressing one’s thoughts and feelings as a means of personal healing, and I became intrigued when I discovered that expressive arts therapies existed. Over time, as I filmed the stories of women with ED, what began to emerge was the theme of creative expression being a powerful force in fostering recovery. This is a documentary film about hope and healing through these therapies.
There are three primary reasons why this film is so sorely needed:
1. An important fact for people to know is that eating disorders are about much more than food, weight, and one’s body, and it would be helpful for people to understand this. Using documentary film as a tool to educate on a large scale about this terrible health risk, this film can be a great advocacy program for the general public as well as community programs and educational institutions. Gaining accurate knowledge can actually give viewers hope and save lives.
2. Expressive Arts Therapies can provide communicative tools that allow the trap of an eating disorder to be transformed. These specialized therapies creatively motivate individuals with ED to reconnect with their inner self and to express what they feel even when it seems impossible. I think it’s about time someone made a film that generates a larger conversation about the place that Expressive Arts Therapists have in helping women with eating disorders recover, don’t you?
3. I believe that the world is in desperate need of a film that tells a story of inspiration. I’ve been horrified by the type of stories that I’ve seen in the news or on MTV that tells hopeless stories of individuals with eating disorders. As a filmmaker, I want to help to modify negative outcomes by inspiring hope through stories of recovery rather than failure. I think that the narrative we need to produce is that if you are strong enough to seek therapy, you are strong enough to survive… and even thrive! And that’s what this film is all about. I want viewers to walk out of the theater thinking, “If they can make it, I can make it too!”

This ends my posts for National Eating Disorder Week, and the theme “Everybody Knows Somebody!” While the week has ended, the battle has just began. There is much work to do!  I am passionate about educating the public and helping empower those people who are still in the strangulation hold of this illness.

Community of Moms ~ Everybody Knows Somebody

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eating disorders, Everybody knows Somebody, illness, National Eating Disorder Awareness week, prayers, recover

I didn’t ask to belong nor did any of the other Moms. As we held our precious new-born baby girls there were dreams of fairy tales, dance classes, hair bows and boyfriends.  Never once did the thought of an eating disorder enter our minds.

Fast forward 8, 12, 16 or 18 years and beyond. The fairy tales have been read, dance classes attended and hair bows so delicately placed in our daughter’s hair.  We held their hands on the first day of Kindergarten, taught them about strangers and used every tool possible to protect our daughters from harms way. But then this illness crept in.

Wait! This wasn’t a part of the plan.

Some of us didn’t initially catch on. For others, the first skipped meal started the sleepless nights and endless prayers. Whether from the onset or months later, at some point each of us realized our daughters were on the slippery slope of an eating disorder.

In this alliance, not every mom has been invited to join. In fact, it is an invitation no one wants to receive! My little group is comprised of woman whom I have known since childhood, others met in the confinement of our daughter’s treatment and many are known only through emails and phones call, not yet meeting face to face.

You see, while we are scattered across the country with different histories and family dynamics our common denominator is an Eating Disorder. Some of our daughters are on the recovery side, others in the midst of the battle; with a few new ones just starting this long brutal course.

Tears have been shed and cries of anguish have gone out for not only our own daughters, but for the others in this sisterhood. The prayers and tears don’t end there; you see today, tomorrow or next week; there will be a new member.  One we have yet to meet and many who have yet to know they are going to be thrust into this fellowship.

This week is National Eating Disorder Awareness Week; you may not belong to an elite group such as I. However, statistics show that “Everybody Knows Somebody.”

Can you do our small assemblage a favor?  During this week, would you take one small step towards raising the awareness of eating disorders and body image issues?  Your one small step, with my one small step will help reduce the stigma surrounding eating disorders and improving access to treatment. After all “Everybody knows Somebody,” and who knows that “somebody” may be some one you love!

If you have a concern for yourself and/or a loved one in regards to disordered eating, an eating disorder or body image issues, the National Eating Disorder Association has a confidential, free Helpline 800-931-2237. Call for help and referrals!

Everybody Knows Somebody ~National Eating Disorder Awareness Week

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Anorexia nervosa, God, National Eating Disorder Awareness week, Remuda Ranch

***This week my posts are dedicated to educating the public about and empowering individuals and families who are in the midst of fighting these deadly illnesses, I have come to know as Eating Disorders.

As the plane touched down and we made our way through the airport, the reality of the situation hit me. We were 1100 miles away from home, about to leave our 17 year old daughter with strangers. The anxiety which had become a normal part of my being kicked into high gear. Tears stung my eyes as the luggage was loaded into the shuttle for the hour and a half drive to the treatment center.  My thoughts were filled with conflicting emotions while hundreds of unanswered questions were gnawing at my heart.

Why didn’t I see the signs sooner?  How did I miss the purging?  Is it true girls gain their own body image on how their mothers see themselves? Then I teetered back into the denial. What if she really doesn’t have an eating disorder?  Have we over reacted?  Maybe we should stop this, turn around and take her back home.  These questions and thoughts swirled around in my head as tears continued to moisten my checks. Mixed in with all the questions was the rapid cycling of my emotions.

Guilt. I thought somehow it was my fault our daughter had reached this point. Guilt, because the first two months of her senior year in high school would be spent at a treatment facility. The guilt was clouding the rational of the decision her father and I had made. A choice which would eventually start our daughter back on the road to recovery and life restored.

Anger.  I was angry because my daughter and our family were dealing with this illness. I was enraged because we had to travel over a thousand miles in order to get Christian care for her illness. Then irritations creep in because some people back home didn’t understand and couldn’t see this was a life threatening illness our daughter was facing. It was much more about emotions than it was about food!  We couldn’t “just make her eat!”  ( Maybe instead of feeling anger, I was “having a pity party. “)

Fear. We were leaving our daughter with strangers and trusting them with her life. She had shown extreme anger to both my husband and I over the last 48 hours and we were terrified she would never understand why we made this decision.

Yet, in the midst of my anguish and raw emotions, I couldn’t forget what God had done. Parallel to the guilt, anger and fear was extreme thankfulness. He had provided the finances and scholarship to get our daughter into Remuda Ranch, the best eating disorder treatment facility in the nation. God had shown Himself to be faithful and true. When the enemy attempted to blindside us with denial and/or hopelessness; God was there. He spoke truth and wisdom to us in regards to this illness while at the same time protecting the very life and breathe of our daughter.

****It was in the fall of 200 when my husband and I left our daughter at Remuda Ranch in Wickenburg, AZ.  She spent 60 days at the residential treatment facility, while there Remuda Ranch staff provided her with the tools needed to fight Anorexia Nervosa.  Today starts National Eating Disorder Awareness Week throughout the United States. The theme this year is “Everybody Knows Somebody.”  In order to help with educating and empowering, I will be posting statistics, videos and other information about eating disorders throughout the week.

As a trained volunteer speaker for National Eating Disorder Association, I would consider it an honor to come share with your youth group, junior high or high school classes or civic organization. Contact me at bgraciesmith@gmail.com for more information or to schedule me for your event.    

Holding Back the Darkness

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Grace and Gratitude picture, holding back the darkness, praying

 

Take the First Step

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Faith, Martin Luther King Jr., The Ghost Ranch

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.

~Martin Luther King, Jr.