Can I be transparent here? Am I the only woman on earth who has days filled with roller coaster emotions? Roller coaster, meaning I go from highs to lows. The last four days have been a roller coaster ride of emotions for me. Emotions which have swept in and out, at times almost consuming me like at tidal wave.
There have been times of grief as I realized a friendship truly has been lost. Also periods, where my body shook with anger. (Do I dare say I get angry?) Anger at a lot of things I have no control over. Perhaps it is the wanting control which has made my angry. Periods of laughter from things my family did or said. Then were the moments of peace where I have “let go and let God.” Instances where I strived to love others and walk in unity. (Even with those who disagree.) Why can’t my thoughts and emotions just stay there?
I haven’t done it for years, but last evening I stood in the middle of our living room, pointed my finger and through gasps of tears, screamed at my husband. (I would not recommend this as a good way to communicate with your spouse!) Ok, so looking at it this morning that was really not rational behavior. It was more like past, unhealthy behavior. Yet, why last night did it seem so right?
One of my prayer warriors sent me this verse Monday morning: Exodus 14:14. “The LORD will fight for you; you need only be still.” In The Message it says “God will fight the battle for you. And you; you keep your mouths shut!” I burst out laughing when I read the Message version. “Keep your mouth shut.” God does have a sense of humor as well as keen insight. He knows all too well how hard that is for me. For the particular instance the prayer warrior was talking about, I have kept it shut.
Obviously though, that wasn’t the case last evening. In hindsight, my reaction to my husband was probably an accumulation of a lot the other things going on in my life right now, unfortunately he took the brunt of it all when I chose to scream at him.
Do you remember Flip Wilsons’ famous saying? Can I use it here? ”The Devil made me do it!” As much as I would like to, that would really be an excuse. I know how to behave and also the proper way to handle a disagreement with my spouse. Screaming and throwing a fit like my 17 month old grandson, certainly is not the correct way.
Last week I posted my 2011 verse. Ephesians 4: 2- 3. These verses give us a glimpse at love for and unity with others. Hummm? Unity and love! Really, do I need to work on those areas? 🙂
God is faithful and true. He continues to work on areas in my life that need refined. Even after 27 years of marriage, I need to practice the characteristics in these verses. Starting at home, I need to show my spouse:
• Forbearance in love
• Be Diligent in preserving unity and peace
The woman of God I am striving to be shouldn’t have to use Flip Wilson’s excuse. My life and character should be one which magnifies the love of Jesus, and strives to live out unity and peace with all. Especially my spouse!