, , , , , , ,

My heart’s cry is to “stand with arms high and heart abandoned to the One who gave it all.”  Even though it is my hearts cry, my flesh doesn’t always follow!  I still blame some of my independence and control issues on the influence the 70’s had in my life.  Those were my “tween” year.  Women burned bra’s and adopted “I am Woman Hear me Roar, ” as their theme song.  For the most part, as a girl and eventually teenager, submission to God and to a man were far from my thoughts.  Oh, I loved God and His son Jesus.  But I was drawn to the independent women hollering for equal rights.

Now as a middle-aged woman, relentlessly pursuing my Jesus.  I know submission doesn’t mean as much about giving up control, but of getting freedom.  In submitting to God and His will for my life,  I give up control of my wants and my desires.  Then in a wonderful exchange God gives me far better than I could ever dream of or imagine.

Have I “arrived?”  Certainly not, sometime it is a day by day or minute by minute decision to let go of the control and surrender to God.  I don’t get it right 100% of the time.  But when I look at the disciples those who knew Jesus far more than I do, they didn’t always get it right either.  I found hope while reading Phillip Yancey’s, The Jesus I Never Knew.  He writes, “You did not choose me, but I chose you,” as He told his disciples, and these were the very scalawags who so exasperated Him and would soon desert Him at his hour of greatest need.  I think of Peter, whose bluster, love, hotheadedness, misdirected passion, and faithless betrayal preview in embryo form nineteen centuries of church history.  On “rocks” like him Jesus built his church, and he promised that the gates of hell would not prevail against it. “

How can the disciples not give me Hope?  Yancey said “scalawags who so exasperated him.” He could have been talking about me!  I know at times my shenanigans have to exasperate my Jesus.  How thankful I am that He doesn’t turn his back to me, but instead he looks at me through grace-filled eyes and loves me solely for who I am to Him!

So, I have to ask…why shouldn’t I “stand, With arms high and heart abandoned. In awe of the One who gave it all?”